Surrendered Relationship

“And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.”
Ephesians 5:21-22 and Ephesians 5:25-26 NLT

Reflection

The focus of the writing today is for husbands. In chapter 4, Paul transitions the conversation of what Christ has done for us to how we are to go about living this out with each other with these words:

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.” Ephesians 4:2-4 NLT.

Bishop Robert Barron is noted for describing the true love of God in our lives as “willing the good of the other.” I think he is spot on. This goes straight to the heart of what Paul is saying about marriage.

Paul calls a husband to a life of complete sacrifice for the well-being and flourishing of his wife, in a relationship with God. Listen to all he says in this passage to husbands:

• “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.
  • He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.
  • He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish.
  • Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
• In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.
  • For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.
  • No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.”
    Ephesians 5:25-30 NLT

Encouragement

You might be asking: Doesn’t Paul say the man is the head of the house?

In the context of a husband being:

• Submitted to Christ, just as Christ was submitted to God the Father.
• Willing to live sacrificially for the well-being of his wife before God, just as Christ did for the church.

Everything Christ has called us to do in following him is meant to be at the center of how we husbands show up in our marriages.

Please reject any interpretation or application that is rooted in power and dominance by the husband suppressing the wife. Instead, pick up the abundance of life Christ is asking husbands to bring into their marriages. It begins with a surrendered relationship to Christ. It continues with a surrendered relationship to your wife. Part of the way a husband follows Christ is by the flourishing of his wife.

Once you do that, you are now growing into the leadership of your marriage the way God intends, willing the good of the other as you follow God in mutual submission together. You are nurturing the sacrificial abundance Christ gave us to share.

Prayer

Dear Jesus,

As a husband, I need these words. Considering your sacrifice for our salvation and flourishing before God, this is the sacrificial spirit I aim to bring to my marriage. All in, total, and complete. It is freeing, loving, liberating, abundant, generous, forgiving, kind, humble, and gentle. This is the very best gift I can bring to my wife. Thank you. Holy Spirit, please help me, as a husband, to live this out. I need help following Christ and leading my marriage in this manner.

With gratitude in Christ, I pray,
Amen

– Ed McDowell, CEO

Warm Beach Camp Ministries